Fruits And Candy
by Pocky King Windy
Summary: *Slash* Gandalf creates a miracle potion, and Legolas drinks it by mistake. When he does so, he becomes pregnant with Aragorn's son, and Elrond is very happy! This is very odd... ^^;


Fruits And Candy

By Windy McDohl

Disclaimer: All characters belong to The Great Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien. The fanfiction belongs to me! YAY! XD But the song belongs to ANZA. (^^;)

Warning: Slash-full! Please don't be insulted! It's a little on the AU side. Aragorn doesn't die and the ring was never there! Sorry! This is a light fiction!

Note: I know that the title doesn't fit the story content. But, uh, it doesn't matter, does it? I'm TOO LAZY to translate the song and a few words here and there, but HEY! That's okay, right? (^^;)

__________________________
    
    Tip Tap 恋はいつだって CANDY
    
    フルーツのように Tasty
    
    Good Luckそうね　毎日が SUNDAY
    
    あわてないで　My Heart

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"By Gil-Galad! I have found it! THE ULTIMATE CONCEIVING SPELL-DRINK EVER IN MIDDLE EARTH! I'M THE COOLEST ISTARI IN THE WORLD! WHOOOO!"

Elrond suppressed a grin. "I'm very sure you are, Mithrandir. Now, now, could you leave your research for a while and join us old-ones for a good supper?"

"Yes, I'm hungry, thank you," Gandalf beamed through his gray beard, not at all ashamed of his outburst before the refined, elegant lord of the house. After all, they were good friends, and rather fond of each other. Elrond's silver eyes twinkled beneath his shining circlet, and they linked hands, making their way to the dining halls below.

Legolas was terribly thirsty. He had just eaten some strange-looking fruits that Elladan had picked up, and smilingly given to him (as usual, he looks angelic when he's naughty). The taste burned in his mouth and the elf felt hot tears rush to his eyes. He could visualize Elrohir and Elladan both guffawing with the other blond elf at his plight – oh, that was horrid!

His elven-green flecked eyes roamed around the room in search for a drink – anything – to get the sting off of his mouth. They fell on a small glistening bottle…

Legolas reached out and pulled the cork out of the bottle mouth. The liquid looked extremely tempting, it being a changing hue of colors, ranging from azure, amethyst, mauve, a gentle rose, marine and emerald. It was beautiful. Legolas peered at it in fascination before downing the liquid in a gulp. How sweet it tasted!

"So, what are we to do with your conceiving spell, Mithrandir?"

"Well, I…" Gandalf hid a rose blush creeping up his cheeks. But then, he decided to go for broke. "I would like a son – an heir. But unfortunately the one I love will never be able to bear me one," Gandalf got down to his knees; "By my wizard hood, the flowers in spring and the gray skies of dawn break, I love you, Elrond Peredhil, and my hopes are for you to requite what I can only afford to give you. Will you marry me and on the eve of our wedding conceive me an heir? I would forever love you, treasure your presence, oh, accept this ring -- be mine!"

He fetched out a ring wrought of mithril, with an azure colored gem set in it. It looked quite like Vilya, though it was of a lighter shade of blue. Elrond gasped when he saw it.

"I… I can't accept this – it must cost a fortune!" then he blushed. "But I am willing to requite your love, and bear you and heir… Although my children are old enough but I'm not sure if they would mind…"

"We won't," Elladan and Elrohir appeared suddenly.

"Neither will I," Arwen grinned. Aragorn flashed an evil smile at his foster father. Elrond stared at them in horror.

"Why you eavesdropping little rascals!" he exclaimed. "Away with you – go survey the wall over there!"

They scuttled away, grinning at each other. They sincerely liked Gandalf, and the notion of having a sibling borne by their father was… well, strangely fascinating to them. The three elves and human made their way to the small brick wall they had erected, and sat there to talk.

"I wonder how the child would look," Elladan said aloud. Arwen shrugged.

"I hope she looks like father, or at least, she should have his eyes…"

"She?" Elrohir sat up. "We didn't say we wanted a 'she'. We want a 'he'! Someone to train with – to take along to adventures, to lie down with under the stars and share tales of valor, to –"

"Well, I don't!" Arwen argued. "I want a nice sister to play dress-up with, to share my jewelry with, to dress with flowers, to weave frocks for, to –"

Very soon a royal battle was waged between Elrohir and Arwen, and Elladan and Aragorn had to pull them both apart before they clawed each other to death. Elladan sighed.

"It's getting late, Estel. You should be meeting up with Legolas now."

"Yes, indeed. I shall go -- are you fine with these two, Elladan?"

"I'll be fine."

Aragorn made his way to his chamber, eager to meet with this lover's embrace again. He grinned stupidly, his head floating with fleeting dreams of passion…

________________________
    
    雨上がりの街へと出かけよう
    
    バブルガムと好奇心をふくらませ
    
    水たまりに映った Blue Blue Sky
    
    涙もきっと
    
    乾くよ Jelly Bean
    
     Ah パステルの陽射しに
    
    幸せもアクビしてる
    
    ゆっくりと歩きましょ

________________________

Legolas awoke with a groan. His head throbbed, strangely enough, and his stomach felt warm. Aragorn got up as well, unaccustomed to Legolas' cry.

"Is something the matter, Legolas?"

"No, I just…" he stopped short, fumbled over to the end of the bed and pulled up a washbasin. When he had found it, he brought it up and started to throw up. Aragorn was apprehensive. He stared at his lover concernedly.

"Legolas, you are ill!" he cried. He suddenly met with Legolas' fist in his eye, and stumbled backward.

"I AM NOT ILL!" he roared, so very unlike his genteel ways. At that, Elrond came barging into the room.

"I heard some yelling," he said, wide-eyed. He looked rather disheveled and frightened. "I have come to investigate. Is Legolas alright?"

"Yes, my lord," he said humbly. He eyed Aragorn apologetically, and Aragorn nodded kindly. Elrond sat down on a chair, looking extremely tired.

"Legolas, Estel," he began after a short pause. "Did you happen to see a bottle of bright blue liquid in a bottle in my chamber yester eve?"

"No," Aragorn said truthfully. Legolas furrowed his brows for a while to fetch back some memory, and…

"Oh, yes, I do suppose I have," he admitted. "Why?"

"That's Mithrandir's conceiving potion," Elrond explained quickly. "He was in a terrible temper when he saw that it was missing from its place – Legolas, where have you last seen it?"

Legolas swallowed hard. He had been in Elrond's room that day… did he…?

He looked up slowly at the Elf-lord's gray eyes. "I… I have consumed it…"

"YOU WHAT?" Elrond goggled at him. "SAY WHAT?"

"This is serious business," Gandalf said. He ran his fingers through his beard thoughtfully. "Are you to keep your child, or will you want me to remove this spell, Legolas, Aragorn?"

Legolas sat munching on a piece of fruit. He had already eaten half the basket, and was now peeling an apple. Elrond hovered near him paternally, weaving his hair into braids and urging him to eat more. He snapped his head up when he heard Gandalf ask Legolas that question.

"I… I am unsure," Legolas said. "I would like to ask Lord Elrond his opinion…"

Elrond smiled. "I would ask you to keep it, Legolas, but the decision is yours. I would so love a grandchild, Mithrandir, Legolas, Estel, and this one will be a beauty, I am sure of it!"

"What about you, Aragorn?" Gandalf questioned lightly. Aragorn had already decided.

"I am to keep my son, as all good men would. This is my lover's life-borne child, how could I ever ask to abort it?"

"Very well, then," Gandalf said, relenting. He was relieved. Elrond nearly leapt for joy. A new baby in the house! Arwen and Elrohir poked their heads in to peek at the small roundtable discussion. They grinned, and made their way to inform their brother about the good news.

"It's going to be a lovely girl, with golden hair, like Legolas," she said, dreamily. Elrohir frowned.

"He'll be strong and powerful, like Estel," he countered. Arwen glared at him.

"It's a girl."

"Boy!"

"Girl!"

"BOY!"

They went on like this for a few hours before stumbling upon Glorfindel and telling him about it. The blond elf grinned. "Well, this is good news! Let us see what is to be on the day of his or her birth!"

About a year flew by, with Legolas experiencing major mood-swings, nausea, hunger and strange cravings. He was rather lucky to have the half-elf fawning over him and feeding (or overfeeding) him with everything he wanted and needed. His stomach had also swelled up and soon came the day that they were all waiting for…

"He looks like his father," Elladan commented, stroking the baby's fine, golden locks. "His hair is like the rays of the sun! See how it shines! And the had Estel's strong chin…"

"You should write a column on babies, Elladan," Elrohir grinned, in return receiving a punch on his shoulder. "No, I meant that – you're good in this."

Elladan huffed and bounced the baby around, singing Elvish songs in his silvery voice. Gandalf was indeed the greatest wizard in the world – out of one little mistake came forth a bundle of joy.

And once again, this story ends without any meaning. Have a great time, everybody!
    
     Tip Tapまるで夢見る CANDY
    
    頬張ればすぐに Happy
    
     Good-byeとてもＵ２な MONDAY
    
    あせらないで

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The End

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End file.
